So far back visiting the land of fun in the sun is full of some surprises and some reflections. Everywhere I look I see the places that house memory of long ago and far away changing, demolished for something new, like the ever shrinking forests of trees. It is here I have always tried to escape, as the words that have always haunted me had said, “you must leave this place and become better, like you know you can be, don’t get stuck.” But now I no longer recognize “here”, it is no longer home, and I am a stranger, as though what had been was only a dream. And that’s really what it was.

I hear others reaching out, starting down the same road, thrust by circumstance and my heart feels sad for them, sad and numb. Who was I? Sleeping beauty? Cinderella? Rapunzel? I can’t remember anymore…I hear the tears and see the search for answers, the search for some kind of hope…and I take those words once said to me in earnest and repeat them as if they were my own, “you are stronger than you think you are.” It takes a strong person to stand up in the pit of loss and climb out because deep down they want to live. It takes an even stronger person to reinvent themselves by learning from their mistakes. If this same person can accomplish all of this then it is possible to form new dreams, better dreams.

It is a difficult action to let go, for some it takes weeks, for others years, and I cry for those that it takes a lifetime. I know what it’s like to wonder, “when will the pain stop? Will I ever be free? Will I always be haunted?” I cannot answer how long but I can say this, if you never learn to use the experience to inspire change then you will keep repeating the same mistakes…and never be free.

As for grieving, don’t ever let someone tell you, it’s time to stop, only you will know when it’s time, and when you find your way out you will see what it was all meant for, you will see the bigger picture.

Don’t think that in your journey to other dreams and destinations that it is a flaw to feel an echo of a sting from before, it’s not a flaw or a fault, it is being human, think of it as a blessing, a reminder of the lesson you have learned. To blunder again would be foolish. If given a second chance with new happiness, remember to cherish it, treasure it, have no regrets.

It’s hard sometimes, I know it is, but it’s not impossible.